I know what you mean about Coca-cola as a brand. I used to love the advertisements they did in the African American music magazines like Beat It when I was a teenager. I remember collecting them too and having loads of their artist ads and the kente cloth ad they did for US BHM on my bedroom wall. I did one of my university essays on Coca-cola. Their ads have always integrated music and been forward thinking and ‘social’. Who was the mind behind the building of the brand back then? I’d love to know. Authentic brands grow organically and stand the test of time. They are definitely not built in a day. Coca-cola is a great example of how how a brand with recognisable values can become a way of life. Do you need to guard IP when your brand is that strong and you have a product that you can sell? I wonder what drink they will be drinking at the concerts? Is this the new advertising model?

Z

How are you? Sorry to hear about the redundancy but as you rightly pointed out, it’s a great time to get into something new, different and right for you.

I haven’t heard anything about SuSu’s dad or the choir recently. I’m not sure what’s happening. I’ll find out for you – are you on the same phone number? And yes Janet’s back now – she’s been on Facebook and is happy and joyous and cracking me up as usual.

x

Sweetie! That’s fantastic! I’m looking forward to seeing your inspirations in whatever media you choose.

Thanks for dropping by with some love and compliments.

Lots of love back atcha hons

xxx

1st para: yes I agree with you. This isn’t limited to male and female relationships either

2nd para: well in fact, it came from the mouths of the men – not me and it may be due to your comment in para 1. In fact, whilst it may be your experience that men do not compete with them, I have experienced several occasions when men have deliberately blocked me from participating and achieving in the same arena with them. I asked why and they told me that they didn’t want to share with me or even have to compete with me. So there you go – there are some men that ARE intimidated by what a woman can do in relation to what they can do. If you’re trying to say that it is us women who compete with men, then I will not deny that. In our journey for equal rights – same pay as men in the same jobs, same qualifications as men, same legal rights as men, same voice as men, same right to vote as men – women have burned their bras, when that didn’t work they chained themselves to buildings, when that didn’t work they tried all sorts of things to take a stand for their rights and now things are getting better.

There were men who fought women every step of the way. How do you win some battles? By playing the same hand as your opponent and in some cases that was by being competitive with men. Remember it’s not in our nature as women to compete, but in order for anyone to achieve their goals sometimes you do whatever you have to do. And due to that, many rules of the law books have been changed to give women more equal rights that we ever had before. Men by nature are competitive yes, but talking and asking for our rights was not getting women anywhere. All I can say is that women are not interested in going back to what it was like before the 1930s so if men can’t handle competition, it’s here to stay.

I keep hearing the issue about men not wanting to compete with women. Whilst men and women are not made equal, and some areas I agree men vs women activity is debatable such as sports, why is it an issue in the jobs domain? Why shouldn’t a woman compete for the same job as a man if they both have similar characteristic traits, great attitudes and the same qualifications if there is no physical limitation? As humans we evolve. And perhaps we’re witnessing the fastest evolution of our physical and mental capabilities of our lifetimes. I believe we should learn more about why this is happening and find ways to embrace it and make it work best in our favour only if we have good intentions.

para 3: hmmm – I was not going to upload your response with this paragraph because my blog will not be used as a platform for hating on anyone. That’s not me and I will not tolerate it. Your view is your view as is mine, but I will not endorse any hating whatsover, but I have to respond to your comments.

Firstly, as I indicated in your my last response talking about women not wanting a man is off topic. You apologised in paragraph 1 so it’s clear to me that you have an agenda to be hating on the sisters. NOT ON MY BLOG!

Secondly, I take it that you’ve been in relationships with women of all races to know that ONLY black women compete with men with glad abandon. Or maybe your friends have too? You haven’t mentioned any of your own personal experiences, so I can only glean from your response that some may be down to experiences and then the rest your taking from some other anti-black women camp. If this is your personal experience – then it is a pity you had to go through this – I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. However, alot of what you said was generalist, inaccurate, and not of reality. There are MEN and WOMEN who only want to be with someone of status. I know from my own personal experiences. The things you say men care about, there are some women who care about those things too. But I don’t have to tell you that cos you’re smart, right?

In relation to the behaviour of black women, we teach others how we’d like to be treated – that’s Psychology 101 and the Bible. From my own personal experiences, some men have taught some of us women how they’d like to be treated and vice versa. So when a good guy comes along, he gets all the crap from the idiot(s) before. Like I said in my previous response, this isn’t down to just women, this a men and women thing. For example, I’m being really open minded with you, but if I wasn’t, you’ve already shown me how I should treat you.

Interestingly enough as a Londoner, we have probably the highest rates of interracial relationships in the world. Men with non-black women stood at 75% a couple of years ago. While this bothers some women, it doesn’t bother me. Why am I worried about a man who isn’t interested in me because I’m black? Why are you bothering with women who are not feminine and competitive and interested in you because of your status? Leave them alone and go in search of someone who you want and wants you back. I hear too many people, mainly brothers bugging over something that is really glass half empty. There are lots of amazing sisters out there. Walk away from the non-amazing ones and they will get theirs. Concentrate on yours. And if you’re that generous write a positive book or workshop where brothers communicate what they want in a sister – don’t complain do something about it!

With feminism, I think the main problem is that it means different things to different people. For some of my male friends, they would be happy for their women to work and they stay at home. They just want their women to be feminine. Some love independent women but can’t handle a women’s independence and attribute it as aggressive, non-participatory, un-family, not black. You haven’t specifically defined what feminism means to you but if all you want is a feminine, non competitive woman who doesn’t aspire for wealth and a career, along with a family – then be careful where you look and be clear about what you want.

Yes there are high %s of single black female households. So when the men walk out, not taking responsibility for their kids, not contacting the kids, are you saying this is the woman’s fault? In the US and in the UK at the same time, social welfare laws were changed to give more money to single family households and of course these are primarily female. Whilst there are some women who took advantage of this – black, white and yellow – this also increased the numbers children sired by men as the government indirectly told them that they were no longer responsible for their children’s mothers or their children – the government will do that for them. And we have a much more generous system here in the UK than you do in the US.

Your quote – “You have been told, quite erroneously I might add, that you have been oppressed, downtrodden, maligned and bamboozled by the evil and wicked man. You have been told that if you got yourselves a career and aspire for things that men aspire for by instinct, then therein lies your freedom and happiness!” Are you serious??!!! LOL We were all told as black people that the road to freedom and happiness was an education to get a good job and a career to earn as much money as possible to live a comfortable life. That message for us blak females was no different from black males. The additional factors would be the support for achieving those goals – and I wonder who you would blame for that? Also, black women were never told that the black man was our oppressor, we were told it was the white man. And remember historically it is the white man (some) who has oppressed Jews, Arabs, Women, Disabled also etc – check history. And also check with your female friends to get the truth. It sounds like you’re only having conversations with too many angry black men. And at the same time I agree, men in general are getting a hard deal. So what do you do? Stop whingeing, and make do for yourself. Compete, take action, get involved – that’s what us women did, it’s what successful black men do. It’s what all successful people do – if the path isn’t laid before them, they get a pick and build their own road to success.

Role of the man is being crushed… another myth. Men are still leaders, there’s is still a corporate ceiling for women, men generally are responsible for law making. What it is is that in society, women are now playing the role of implementer/doer previously occupied by men only. It’s still is a man’s world out there – women have a greater influence in it that’s all. And generally, most women are not interested in running the world because they recognise a man’s role in building anything. It’s all down to whether they make the choice to let him participate.

I agree with you that there are many laws, actions and instructions in place to destruct our community. However, with tomorrow being a milestone in not only black history, but recent human history I would encourage you to hold your head up high and take example. I don’t know who you are, but your anger is mis-directed, your focus is negative and you’ve made an unintelligent representation of your views which is severely unbalance. Therefore as I said, treat others who you’d like to be treated. You’ve already shown me in words how you would like to treat you. I will not do that, but other women (of any race) will.

You haven’t demonstrated respect for black women (or me for that matter when I requested for you to keep on topic), instead you’ve gone on a tirade against WHO I AM – a black woman. However, I’m not offended, because I do not represent any of the attributes you’ve described – and I’m bigger than that. I’m only interested in uplifting people regardless of their race, gender or challenge – if that’s what they want. You’ve shown that you’re only keen to perpetuate the same rigmarole of being down on the sisters whether it has been part of your experience or not. You’ve not said anything positive or uplifting to encourage sisters or that you are a wonderful man and that they should keep searching for the man they truly desire. You’ve not mentioned anything to encourage the brothers to not pay mind to women that do not match what they are looking for. You’ve shown no ounce or glimmer of positivity for the sisters. Maybe you’ve been hurt really badly and that’s hard to recover from, but check this – with comments like above, you are just pushing people away. Maybe you don’t want a black woman or any woman. If not, that’s okay too – it’s your life. Now reflect what you’ve written and my interpretation of your comments – yep that’s how you’re sub-consciously telling me to think about you, treat you and talk with you. But notice, I’m communicating with respect, because I have respect for everyone until they prove they are not worthy of it.

A male friend once told me that when it comes to women, a man’s sole purpose is to please her. Maybe you disagree with him. By what you’ve written, anyone who may Google you and see your comments will question that.

I’ve spent too much time sharing with you, which is not really in my nature, on this topic, however I wish you all the best with whomever you spend the rest of your life with – whatever race she maybe from. May you find the woman who you desire and hopefully she desires you back. And for the rest of black womankind that don’t match up to your anti-feminist views, it’s best just to leave them be and stop the hating. For some reason you think being with a woman of another race will be easier than a black woman. Are you serious! Generally, it’s no different. It’s all down the the individuals in the relationship and how they project their views and values.

Whilst there are some truths in your response above, how you positioned it doesn’t make you look good or cool. And that’s where I end my response AND our two-way because it’s negative and destructive.